When climbing, our bodies are put to the test, but so are our minds. And among the most common psychological challenges, self-esteem plays a central role. It influences our confidence to try harder routes, our ability to fall, our perseverance… but also how we position ourselves in relation to others.
This is particularly noticeable when climbing with people who are not at the same level as us. Through my experiences with different partners, I have noticed that the way I view myself varies depending on their performance. It’s inevitable: I always compare myself to others. But that’s certainly not the only factor. Our mood, energy levels, menstrual cycle, and even our success from one session to the next also influence how we feel.
So, what should you do when you feel “less good” than others? And ultimately, is it really so bad to climb with less experienced people? What if, instead of comparing ourselves, we turned the perspective around?
The mirror effect of comparison
Whether climbing with people who are more or less experienced, comparison is almost inevitable. It can fuel thoughts such as: “I’m stuck on this easy route, while they climbed it on sight,” “I hope I’m not boring them with my attempts,” or “I don’t dare suggest an easier route, I’m afraid of holding the group back.”
These thoughts, often silent, can become real obstacles. They hold us back from trying, cause us to lose confidence, and push us to evaluate ourselves without nuance. However, becoming aware of them is already a first step toward transformation. Our level of climbing does not determine our value or what we bring to a session.
Climbing with less experienced people: broadening your perspective
Climbing with people who are less experienced than us may seem to slow down a session, but it is actually a great opportunity to progress in a different way. By observing their attempts, we learn to understand what makes a sequence difficult and to identify key points such as positioning, rhythm, or hesitation. You gain a better understanding of common mistakes, such as missing an important hold, forgetting to look at your feet, or breathing incorrectly. You can also test your own reading of the route and compare it to that of others. Mistakes then become a real resource.
What is particularly interesting is how much the reading of a move varies from one person to another. Body size, strength, flexibility, and even confidence at the moment directly influence movement choices. Sometimes, someone with less raw strength will find a more subtle and technical method. A smaller person will have to come up with a sequence that is completely different from what we would have imagined for ourselves. These differences fuel reflection and allow us to put our own interpretation into perspective.
Beyond the technical aspect, there is also an emotional benefit. Taking the time to encourage others, suggest a method, or share your experience boosts self-confidence and creates a caring and committed group dynamic.
Climbing with more experienced people: inspiration without pressure
On the other hand, climbing with more experienced people can cause another type of discomfort: the fear of not keeping up, slowing down the group, or being “the weak link.” However, these people can be seen as sources of inspiration. Their way of reading a route is often more fluid and precise, their daring pushes them to try less obvious methods, and their management of stress, falls, or fatigue can inspire us.
Climbing with them and taking the time to observe them can open up new ways of approaching routes. However, it is essential not to get caught up in a performance mindset. If the difference in skill level is too great or if the pressure becomes too intense, you must be brave enough to say so. The goal is to learn in a safe environment, not to put yourself down.
Balance: embracing your place on the wall
Climbing with people of varying skill levels teaches you to listen to each other and accept where you are. A day spent climbing easier routes can be just as rewarding and fulfilling as an ambitious project, as long as you put your mind to it.
You can make progress without always trying to “push your limits” and simply enjoy a good session. You can also be a great support to others, even if you’re not the strongest person in the group. It’s also possible to be inspired by someone who climbs less strongly but falls gracefully, gets back up with humor, or explores routes you would never have paid attention to.
Above all, it is essential to remember that we all have our place in a climbing session.
Building strong self-esteem through rock climbing
Self-esteem is not about feeling superior to others, but about feeling capable and legitimate, regardless of your level. It is nourished both by our successes and by our ability to embrace difficulties with curiosity.
To maintain motivation, it is important to focus on the progress made rather than solely on ratings. Surrounding yourself with caring and diverse people helps you feel supported and motivated. Celebrating attempts, falls, and breakthroughs is just as important as celebrating successes. Finally, remember that your climbing level does not define you.
Work on your mental strength and push your limits
Climbing isn’t just about muscle power, it’s also a mental game. Often, it’s not our strength that holds us back, but our fear: fear of falling, of failing, of disappointing others, or of not being “good enough.”
The mental work involved in climbing consists of harnessing these emotions in order to remain focused and engaged in the action. This involves visualization and route reading, taking the time to imagine the route in minute detail and visualize each movement before even performing it. Breathing also plays a crucial role, as it helps to calm stress and regain fluidity in tricky passages.
The mental work involved in climbing consists of harnessing these emotions in order to remain focused and engaged in the action. This involves visualization and route reading, taking the time to imagine the route in minute detail and visualize each movement before even performing it. Breathing also plays a crucial role, as it helps to calm stress and regain fluidity in tricky passages.
Surpassing oneself is not limited to tackling a more difficult route. It can be expressed by daring to embark on a path that intimidates us, attempting a move that seemed impossible the day before, accepting to fall several times without giving up, or climbing ahead despite fear. Every small step beyond our comfort zone builds confidence and resilience.
It is a process that requires time and kindness towards oneself. The mind, like the body, can be trained and strengthened through experience and repeated attempts.
In conclusion
Climbing with people of different skill levels means accepting that you will be constantly changing roles: sometimes leading, sometimes following, sometimes doubting… and always learning.
It is fertile ground for developing technique, route reading, and inner posture. Level does not tell the whole story. A very experienced climber can be thrown off balance by a style that does not suit them or by a grade that they struggle with, just as a beginner can excel at managing fear or reading a complex route.
The diversity of skill levels, body types, and approaches is what makes a climbing session so valuable. The next time you find yourself in a group with varying skill levels, choose to see this situation not as a constraint, but as an opportunity. A chance to learn differently, to share, to observe each other, and, why not, to boost your self-esteem and that of others.
– by Agathe de Barochez
